If you ask anyone what their favorite season is 90% of them will say “summer”. 5% of people will say spring which blows my mind because if the seasons were human; spring would be the awkward teenager not knowing what kind of person he would be. Should he be the sexy hot summer, or the ugly and unlikable winter? 1% of people like the fall which again is weird because leaves are dying….it's the most “emo” holiday. Now to you 4% who like the winter, honestly you're lying to yourselves, no one actually enjoys the winter time. You may enjoy the first snow blanket as it molests the beautiful green grass that is on my lawn, but by Valentine's Day not one person likes it. Winter and snow are God giving us the middle finger.
(Pictured: Winter!)
I can vouch that this is 100% true. When you're relaxing on the beach trying to be as tan and beautiful as me, has anyone said “Damn I wish there would be a blizzard right about now, I can't stand this nice weather!” of course they haven't. Nothing is fun about shoveling snow and your car not starting. Snowballs to the face have the same “fun value” as a peroxide enema. I find it cruel irony that we have Jesus's birthday in the season where he is telling us that he hates us.
While these are all arguments to support my findings, the real reason why I hate the winter time? I cant walk around without pants.
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